I can proudly say I have not binged in 4 days (Sunday being my last binge). I know that I will probably have a binge day this weekend, because going cold turkey will only end in me going on another month-long binge, and that fucking sucks let me tell you. So I am thinking, I may allow myself one binge day per a week, until I think I am strong enough to have one a fortnight, then one every three weeks, one a month and then maybe leave it there? I'm not too sure, but I know that having the binge to look forward to will help me keep myself eating (rather, not eating) better so that I can have that binge day. It's like, I need to slowly wean myself off of these binges. Weekdays and my non-binge weekend day will be a maximum of 300 calories a day.
So, this week.
Mon: 85 calories
Tue: 246 calories
Wed: 225 calories
Today,
Thu: 182 calories (including the 2 teas and 2 coffees I intend to drink throughout the night)
So that's 738 calories, in 4 days. Which is less than half of my daily maintenance. Fuck yeah!
In other news, I got an audition for a student film! My agent emailed me this morning, told me to contact the director. So, Sunday at 10:00am is the audition! (: I'm not expecting anything from it, it's my first ever audition and I'm a year younger than 4 of the 5 main characters (6 years younger than the 5th). I'm just excited to get some real practice in auditioning for when something I have a good chance at comes up. But, who knows? Maybe I'll get cast as an extra :)
So basically, I'm feeling pretty damn good right now. Day 5 of restricting tomorrow, I'm literally not even that hungry anymore. I had to force myself to have a 160cal soup yesterday to please mum, but I had no desire to eat it. For me, that's a great thing!
Stay Strong x
I am SO JEALOUS of your self control. I need to practice on that. Just whenever I think that I want something, close my eyes and think about the pros and cons, how the food was made, what is in it etc etc until I decide to choice water. Sorry for commenting on like all of your blogs. I just started reading your blog and was really inspired. Stay strong! Hopefully I can too.
ReplyDeleteYou rock something fierce, believe me. I believe in you, and know you got it down. Good luck with the audition!
ReplyDeleteI've done terribly lately, so much shit has gone down at home... it's messing with me, I've been reverting back to comfort eating and eating in secret. I've been hiding at school munching gems and cookies and chocolate, and telling mum I had nothing just to get more. Gah. Disgusting, I know..
ReplyDeleteThat's really sad! You know we all do that. I like to lie to myself and say that I HAD to eat then so that it didn't look suspicious. What bullshit. I suggest tea. It doesn't help with the wanting to actually chew something but it's got more flavor than water and with little or no sugar, it can actually be enjoyable. :) I had English Breakfast tea yesterday. Also Raspberry flavor is good. The kind that I got seriously tastes like candy. Anyways. Keep going!
ReplyDeletethanks :3 ill keep that in mind, im starting restricting again tomorrow, i caved today. but the weeks been okay-sh, no weight gain because ive managed to go 200cal one day, binge the next, etc, but it evens out to a healthy amount :L HA
ReplyDeletethanks anyway, ill be going the shops tonight and ill get some tea, and start tomorrow (:
I started today on restricting again because I medium binged the past like four days. I almost always cave after the sun goes down. I can not eat anything for the whole day and then have 6 160 cal cookies after a half dinner. Makes me so mad. That was over 1000cals ug. But hey! we can do this! I'm hoping to have not gained weight from it. I try to drink a lot of water after hoping that maybe it helps to pass the food faster. I may be making that up though :) Let me know how it goes!
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